SoCal Suburbia

With a New Semester

....comes a lot of changes. I knew Global Issues was going to end and I wasn't going to see Conor for so long every day anymore. I didn't know (a) he would start dating a junior (?!) or (b) we'd only have one Academy class together or (c) he'd simply stop talking to me altogether.

I knew I'd be taking different Academy classes. I went from "advanced acting", "movement for the actor", and a workshop with the Actors' Gang to Butoh, "directing and scene study", and, well, the same Actors' Gang workshop. I am endlessly grateful for that, at least, staying the same.

I've known for a long while that something had to change, because I knew that Conor Did Not Like Me Like That. I knew I was wasting my time. And I made a decision- it was no longer allowed. No more glancing over at him in English. No more deliberately taking routes that would allow me to pass him in the halls and smile at him. No more hating the girl he is dating despite the fact she is perfectly nice and I'm being unfair. It's tough, though. The scary thing is, I know that if he broke up with his girlfriend tomorrow, my heart would catch in my throat.

So I now have a goal- I need to find someone else to crush on, someone else's name to doodle on my Biology notes. Really, though, I'm not particularly attracted to anyone I see on a daily basis. Perhaps I'll have to broaden my search to guys I see on a weekly basis.

And then, maybe, if Conor breaks up with his girlfriend, I won't go all to pieces all over again.

posted by Lucy @ 3:55 PM